Top 8 Most Annoying Investment Phrases

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annoyed investor

Yes, we have all heard it before.  The same old investment maxims or advice.  When you go to forums, or when you talk to other investors, you hear them spouting these phrases. When you turn on the TV, you get bombarded by these phrases as well.  It’s the same old words, same old advice, same old crap, that you are subjected to hear over and over again once you are in the investing community.  I am so sick of it.  If the next person says any of these phrases to me I swear I am gonna go berserk.

I don’t understand why investors love using these phrases.  Perhaps we are limited by the jargon used?  Or perhaps we want to sound smart?  Perhaps… there’s nothing more to investment other than following the same old advice or maxims?

All I know… is that they really annoy the crap out of me…Aargh!

 

 

1.  Earnings Miss Estimates

Earnings miss estimates.  Or issit estimates miss earnings?  Either ways, who gives a shit?!

I’d rather watch Anchorman 1 and 2 than the financial news.

 

2.  Stocks will most likely remain volatile going forward.

“I CAN’T HANDLE VOLATILITY OMG OMG I AM FREAKING OUT OMG!”

But seriously, if I get a dollar every time ‘experts’ appear on TV and say this phrase, I will be filthy rich.  Hey, in fact I should create an ETF to track the number of ‘experts’ saying this phrase around the entire world!

 

3.  “You bought that stock? How do you sleep at night?”

“I don’t. I stay up all night worrying if earnings miss estimates…”

Somehow investors like to mix investing and sleeping.  I don’t get it.  I have invested in bad stocks before and I slept very well… I find sleeping a good way to escape reality.

 

4.  ” Blah blah blah blah… Black Swan Event….”

“Oooh I see! You read Nassim Taleb too?  Oh You Smarty Pants – You…”

Black Swan Event is just a fancy way of saying “Shit Happens” or “Ji Bai Si Liao”.  All these intellectuals can’t call a spade a spade.  Need to sound smart by coining some chic terminology for something so simply explained.  Next time, when Singapore’s soccer team qualifies for the World Cup, we shall call it a Black Swan Event.

 

5.  Education is the best investment.

No. Wrestling is the best education….AAARRRRGGHHHHH!!!!

 

6. Gold is a Good Hedge Against Inflation.

And Critical Thinking is a Good Hedge against Bullshit.  Sorry if I have offended investors who love gold.  You can argue your case for gold in the comments section.  I can use what you type for a part 2 of this post.

 

7.  Historical data is not indicative of future performance.

Historical data indicates that every investor says this phrase at least once in their lifetime.

Seriously.

Come on, admit it!

 

8.  Buy Low. Sell high.

“BEST…ADVICE…EVER!!!!!”

 

 

 

I hope I am not the only one who feels this way. Feel free to share some other annoying investment phrases that you have heard!

 

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11 Comments

  1. Rolf

    Hi BfGf,

    The phrases are annoying, but you article is entertaining. 🙂

    Rolf

    Reply
    1. The Bf (Post author)

      Glad that you enjoyed it bro!

      Reply
  2. Shuz

    I KNOW RIGHT. Buy low sell high. They must have a damn awesome crystal ball to know when is low and when is high.

    Reply
    1. The Bf (Post author)

      Go up to a person and say:

      “Buy low. Sell high.”

      Give a pat on his/her shoulder and walk away like a sage…

      Reply
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  4. temperament

    Who is not trying his best to “BUY LOW, SELL HIGH” IN HIS OWN WAYS?
    HE MUST BE NUTS ISN’T IT?
    Relax and you shall invest better.

    Reply
    1. The Bf (Post author)

      Hhahahaha!

      I am glad I made you feel annoyed as well.

      Reply
  5. InvestingWolf

    Although “Buy Low Sell High” seems annoying, that’s all there is to it. obviously it cannot be buy high sell low (which majority seems to like to do)…

    Reply
    1. The Bf (Post author)

      Hi Wolf

      Obviously it cannot be buy high sell low, that’s why the phrase is annoying!

      So meta.

      Reply
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